You Should Read This

Pic source: Google images

Being a girl is not safe even in our mother’s womb. Can we ever expect a safer place for us in the outside world?

I’m sure most of us have already heard and some might have already seen the video about the molestation of a girl in Bengaluru, India. If not, then please click here to know about it. I was awestruck to watch something like this happen. I got goose bumps and my heart pounded so loudly that I could hear it in my ears. How did you react? What thoughts came into your mind after you watched it? Maybe some included the following:

“I should return home earlier.”

“I should not walk alone.”

“My own neighbourhood is not safe for me.”

“I should learn some self defense techniques.”

Let me share with you a recent event that my friend faced, here in Nepal. She was returning home in a local bus. The bus was quiet crowded so she had to compact herself in a corner to prevent the jostle. The people who don’t own their private vehicle can totally relate to how difficult this situation can be. And for us girls, especially, we have to take care of so many other aspects, rather than just making ourselves adjust in there. So my friend was standing in the bus when she felt a hand in her back. She thought that since the bus was really crowded someone might have used her back to support themselves from falling. But after a while, she felt a chin in her shoulder. That was not usual, right? Do any of us place our chin in someone’s shoulder to support us? No, unless you’re a pervert.

“Excuse me, Dai! What are you trying to do?” My friend knocked him slightly with an elbow. He replied that it was by mistake. She didn’t respond further. So do you think the story ended? Not yet. The crowd hadn’t thinned out still. That pervert had the guts to wrap his arms around my friend’s waist after sometime. That was when my friend took a stand. She was brave enough to confront the guy in front of everyone in the bus.  At first, he denied his act but fortunately for her, other passengers in the bus came to her rescue as well. Some grandmas had been observing his act since the beginning too. She said that even the driver and the bus helper halted a bus for while to scold the guy. The guy was humiliated for his deed by everyone in the vehicle. She said that he didn’t speak a word then.

I, myself, have faced similar situations like this quite times really. Once when I was going Dharan from Biratnagar, I had to take a crowded bus too. I was standing there, minding my own business when I felt a hand in my back. I didn’t react for a while but then the hand started hovering all over my back. Since I’m a bit short-tempered, my blood was already boiling inside me. I didn’t turn around to see who he/she was, instead I just threatened, “If you don’t take your hands off my back right now, you’re going to have a really bad day today.” The person took away his/ her hands. Everyone in the bus looked at me. I felt a little shy for what I said but the hand didn’t return to my back again.

I’m sure every girl has had their own share of stories like these. I’m sure every girl reading this has faced eve-teasing while walking in the road either alone or with friends. Guys do it, don’t they? But what is the limit? 

Back when I was in college, I had to change my way and take an alternative and longer route to my college because the guys in my neighbourhood started crossing the limit. They used to call my name and even say ‘I love you’ loudly. All the people used to stare at me and I heard many of my neighbours say that it was my fault. They said that I was luring the guys when I didn’t even know who they were. I didn’t want to come out of the house. I was so scared back then. But I am not anymore.

There are situations like these when we can rescue ourselves from the unwanted situations. There are situations when simply changing our paths or covering our ears can solve the problems. But there are also situations like the one that happened in Bengaluru and many other told and untold stories that you can’t avoid even when you apply all your might. Some demons won’t let you go and some demons won’t come to your rescue.

This is not the problem of India, this is not the problem of Nepal, and this is not even the problem of the male gender. Because I know some really decent guys who respect women even more than women respect women. This is the problem of humanity. The question that really arises here is: are these people human? This is not the problem of the sexual hormones running in their bodies. This is the problem of the filthy thoughts running in their brains. This is the problem of their upbringing. I’m sorry parents! Because if you had raised your child to be a gentleman and respect women, the world wouldn’t be as scary as it is today.

One question that has always intrigued me is what do these guys do after they go home from raping or molesting some girl? Do they celebrate it with alcohol? Do they announce it to their families? Or do they add one more count to the secret diary they’ve been keeping to maintain the statistics of girls they’ve raped? Do they ever feel guilty?

Dear nation, please make strict rules to punish these monsters hidden in human flesh. Please make our place safe for us.

Dear society, please don’t blame the girls for the faults they’ve never done. Please don’t question the way she walks, the way she dresses or the way she talks. Let her live her life the way she wants.

Dear parents, please don’t teach your girls to stay inside home and forget about their dreams because of this incident or any other incident that may happen in the future. Teach your boys to behave instead. Please don’t cut your girls’ wings before they even learn to fly.

Dear boys, imagine how would you feel when some other guys molest your own mother, sisters or daughters? Would you have the same degree of pride you had after you molested another girl?

And lastly, dear girls, don’t you ever feel that you are not destined to fly, don’t you ever feel discouraged and helpless. Kick those perverts in the balls and unfortunately if ever you can’t save yourself from these hungry demons, don’t you ever feel like you’ve done wrong. It is never your fault, no matter what you wear, no matter where you go. NO means NO. If someone touches you without your consent then it’s never your fault.

Pic source: Google images

Pic source: Google images